The struggle between enjoying my present and making ends meet

Now i understand the emplication of the song I’m a big big girl in a big big world. i can feel it now, i am a big girl, 25 years old, recently finished my master degree, looking for the right job, that is the job i would love to wake up early in the morning knowing that i’ll spend a nice day , trying to gain some money from nowhere, planning what to eat and what to watch ever yday, my life seems so miserable at this moment i can think about nothing but my carrer, my job, my money source and the place i should explore my talents and performance. after approximately three months of a routine, void, boring and suffering life i said enough and starting looking for what i really can do and what i do admire in myself that i will enjoy to share and show off.

So i thought about working as English writer whether a freelancer or employer and i applied for some jobs in this field and it seems that i’ll make my life blossom again. Also translation jobs are so inspiring for me and i enjoy it, i guess im pretty good at it. i thought that it would be perfect if i start working as a freelancer than after evaluating my performances i’ll decide to work as an employer. If i did so and i gained money and experience i needed for lets say 3 months i’ll become ready to wake up in saturday morning receptive for love, hope and joy.

i have to admit that people gain respect from others if they have money and a good job that is especially a fruitful job, this is why i need to come out of my skin and change my daily routine to make my world  interesting, different and maybe fabulous. Hanging out with my sister Nadine at summer and having some ice cream, sitting in the beach and eating pizza would made my day. You know these simple things make our lifes the more fascinating and awesome.

Thinking about the furure, now i realized i am not living my present fully. making me recognize the precious family life i have and the need to grab every real second of it. In brief, i want to live in a simple manner, no complications and no philosophies. Waking up everyday, i realize the worth of living and how i should enjoy every second of it as if it is the last moment in my life.


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