What is it about myself feeling perpetual and unstable! Easily moved and influenced, my subconscious always alerts me. How do I react? I simply induge in a complete mood of writing. Mostly, I write about « trivial », common things that happen everyday but we do not recognise them. It is a subtle way of healing that cures my body and my soul. Unconsciously, I dive into a status of blinkness and emptiness and that particular mood harvasts my inner feelings and desires to try out something new. So, I thought about writing whatever comes into my mind instead of taking a pill every moment I don’t feel pretty well.
I decided to weep off the thousands of tears I shed all nights and find out my perfect gateway. Now, careless about what is right or reasonable, I set my dreams, listened to my heart and sail away toward a new discovery. Sometimes, I feel that I didn’t deserve the sad part in my life, sometime i guess I did. It’s complicated, how I feel pethific about myself then enjoying being unlucky at some time. In the end, I guess I could be happier than how i am now, it is just the way I wanted the life i am folding in and the decisions I took that makes me write this way.
Being fake, is not me at all. I am a mere white paper displayed from the outside in the same way as it is from the inside. I love to be loved and flattered while necessary, I love love. Basically, I strive to be happy but I don’t know how. It is ambiguous how I can find pleasure in the same things that makes me sad at some point. So, it is me who is responsible for what makes me happy or sad. I must be honest, I tend to be indulged in sad moments when I could easily be in an outburst happiness and vice versa. It is complicated, I am complicated!