Grace was sitting in front of the balcony of her small room, having a cigarette and a cup of light coffee. Just breathing the tobacco and blow in the air softly and slowly while  closing her eyes. She was trying to convince herself that she can stay strong and firm. She did not want to confess that she is defeated now, no one can ever try to make her believe that she will not thrive. The courage and boldness in her eyes were inevitable. The only thing that cannot be ignored is her nostalgic feeling when she see the picture of her mom on her desk table. A look of wonder and hesitation was painted in her face at the time she notice that picture is still on her desk. Everytime she looked at it, she found the same slight grin and sparkling eyes looking at her in a way that she feels her mom is still with her.

Lonely in her room, Grace asked herself many questions: why did i left him? wasn’t i happy with him? He told me that he will sacrifice his life for my happiness! she could not even answer her questions and kept on smoking while looking at the dark blue sky with a deep grief. Her mind was buzzed with thoughts, the breake up with her ex-boyfriend, how to find a new life partner for her and how to fill the empty space of the need to her mother. Bewildered and confuses, Grace decided to take another cigarette and forget about her miserable life. As she was diving into her misfortuned life, a whispering voice flashed through her mind telling her not to give up, not to surrounder. She didn’t listen to that voice and quickly changed her posture and splashed her body on the bed.

The moment Grace laid down in her bed opening her arms and closing her eyes was fabulous. She wished she could seize those instants of admiration and reflection and make them last longer. Her mind was cleared up, all her fears and worries were erased. At that moment nothing to bear in her mind but the feeling of peace and self release. Grace have always liked staying and doing nothing. However, that moment soon faded away and Grace found herself again in the dilemma of abanding her lover or offering a new chance to hersef. The hardest part that Grace couldn’t face was making a decision . Thinking about the good times she spent with her ex-boyfriend Jack; especially the vigorous way he made sex with her in the early morning, made her decision the much more difficult to take. For some reasons, Grace found Jack so attractive and charming. He was from the upper class society and runned a big company of diaries in Heartland farm. Jack was surrounded with the most beautiful girls in Heartland while his eyes only fell through Grace beauty.

Grace was a simple girl in the middle of her twenties with hazel eyes and dirty blond hair. She was working as a business consultant in a company and known to be successful, glamorous and intelligent. What is missing in her life is the true love that is beyond having erotic relationships. She was insatiable, demanding and cannot be satisfied easily so it was even hard for her to find her consolator. Not her friends neither her quazi family could fill that empty feeling in her heart. To be continued..


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